No reason, No Rhyme

Today, I'm just writing as a journal entry. No reason, No rhyme...

It's my lunch break at work. I sit around these 3 women who are from Romania and though they are pleasant to talk to, these women drive me insane! They sit allllll day long talking a thousand miles a minute in Romanian and if I ask for help with anything they discuss it amongst themselves in their language... and instead of explaining the issue to me, they just give orders and walk away. Ahh my "Office Space" job... I don't know if I've mentioned where I work; I have 2 jobs. This one, I will keep anonymous for reasons I know you'd understand. I am an entertainer at a topless club for job #2. It's so weird.... 2 completely different lives I live... and I'm bored with both.

Anyways, I've decided I really don't want to dance anymore. I get so tired of pretending to care what my customers have to say. It seems no one has anything interesting to say anymore. I can't stand what society dubs as "cool," you know? John Lennon, Dave Matthews, Janis Joplin.... THAT'S cool to me. Books, movies, and spirituality....THAT'S cool to me too. Not motorcycles, muscles, and who can drink the most beer. Being a topless entertainer isn't as easy as one would think. It takes a lot of self control and patience....I'm loosing both. When I go to work, I find myself smoking on the patio all day to avoid the men that come in... which means I don't leave with much money anymore. At least I'm not stuck, like some of the 30+ year old women I work with. I have an "out," but the economy is down so bad right now... being a single girl living on her own doesn't exactly mean an easy-does-it schedule.


Random....I told you, No Reason, No Rhyme.

Anyways, I saw Coraline last night. My buddy went with me... we got SUPER stoned before hand and let me tell you, if you get the opportunity to do this, please take it. That movie is insanely bizarre. I absolutely loved it.

The voices and "shadow people" I encounter are getting more and more intense as the days go on. Last night a dear dear friend of mine was crying because she had just lost her dog. =( I could feel her hot tears on my face and hear her crying. When I text her, she admitted this is what she was doing at that moment. I know it's an amazing gift I've been given, but sometimes I have to ask myself, "what is the purpose?" Why was I given this? I don't see how I can put it to any good use, you know? It's more .... just..... there.

Well anyways, thank you for reading my pointless blog today. lol I hope I find you feeling well, my friend. Have a good one.

Cheers